Luciano, you have a dizzying intellect.

So the "final" verdict on the Tourist-Visa is this: We don't need one! Woohoo!

Well, let me be more precise by using the words of Luciano at the Italian consulate: "Well, it is possible you need a visa, but most likely no one will check, and anyway - there is really no visa for what you are trying to do so you probably won't need one... well, except of course in the case where one is necessary. Enjoy your vacation!"

I realized before we made the decision to leave that we had to shift our world view on customer service. This sort of ambiguity is quite common over there and hopefully after a month or so our brains will be re-wired to that way of thinking. It should be quite liberating!